“Bro have you seen his filthy youtube tapes with that sick entire "Free Bird" song in the background?” “Bro he is definitely the next Pistol Pete, his hair totally flows. Check out his other grainy footage, this one is to a Van Halen Asher Roth mashup!”
I will begin by noting the following: Do I believe that Rubio is talented? I do. Do I think he has potential to be a star in the USA? I think its possible. Did I hype this kid like a drooling school girl during the Olympics? I won’t deny it.
In the last calendar year my feelings for Rubio have changed dramatically. I now despise the young Spaniard. He disrespected the entire NBA during the pre-draft process; he continues to disrespect NBA fans, David Kahn (even though Kahn himself is a world class cock-boy), and his future teammates on the Minnesota Timberwolves. We are supposed to believe he is the greatest passer and most unselfish player since John Stockton (see: Hornacek, Jeff) yet everything he has done to this point points to the fact that he is a selfish, coddledm prick (granted with really nice hair).
Look up his statistics in Europe. I’m not impressed. Abused by Brandon Jennings in a Euroleague matchup? He was. Dominate the Olympics? He was the fifth best player on the Spanish team and did nothing against the USA. Juan Carlos Navarro was twice the player Rubio was in the Gold Medal game. How did Rubio do in the pre-draft combine? How did he measure? What was his vertical? How did he perform in 5 on 5 drills? Oh that’s right. He did none of these things. He was scheduled for a grueling workout against some cones and a few other inanimate objects in Sacramento but caught a questionable, sleazy, sketchy, dubious fever the night before. When asked about Minnesota he said he didn’t want to play there because “my mother hates the cold weather.” Grow a sack Ricky. Tell your mom to buy some bronzer. Buy her a north face and get out of my face, seriously, oh wait, nice behind the back dribble. Shut up Rubio. By the way we speak English in this country. I’m tired of clicking links to see you give interviews in your regional jibberish. Get the Rosetta Stone. Phelps learned Mandarin for crying out loud.
The buyout. I get it, I get it, he has a 6 million dollar buyout clause in his contract and he was only getting paid 6 figures by DKV Jovenut. So I guess when he signed this contract he had a gun to his head? I guess some sweaty body man at DKV Jovenut forced the 15 year old kid to sign a contract that made no sense? Maybe his mom and dad couldn’t get out of the house that day to help him look over the contract because it was 54 degrees and they were concerned about frost bite. I’m not one of those bros at Princeton who plays lax and is a ripped double major in finance and econ, but I probably wouldn’t sign a contract with a company offering me 30k a year that said I could never leave the company, and that if I did I would have to pay 6 million dollars. Do I feel bad for Ricky? No.
Good news though, he has announced that he may come to the USA... or not. Thanks Ricky. I have a better idea though. Buy a studio with all the cash you have made over-seas and just jam out to “stairway to heaven” while you make sweet passes to guys who look like the grungy, Spanish version of Bruce Jenner for akward layups. (Jenner was and remains a national hero and sex icon). Jay Bilas and Chad Ford will cancel their subscriptions to Brazzers and pay 12.99$ a month for it. Get out Rubio, get the hell out. You disgrace the names of fellow Europeans: Vlade Divac, Manu Ginobilli and Arvydas Sabonis. You are #4 on the most despicable athlete list.
Honorable mention: Stewart Cink, I still hate you big Stew. Smile right through me. No, no kiss your claret jug again cink. Seriously we love that photo. Pat Forde (oh wait, Pat Forde is going to be #1 on this list), Steve Kerr (how many guys named Steve Kerr does it take to ruin a terrific organization? One). Steve Stricker (I hate the fact that your on the leaderboard all the time, get off my leaderboard stricker and stay off).
Love the blog fellas, even though if it is pro New York. Keep it going.
ReplyDelete--Doyle