The Sports Bros are inclined towards the common man. Sure we like the Lebron's, Tiger's, Federer's (we hate Federer), Jordan's, Jeter's and Hornacek’s of the world. However, more so than the love of larger than life athletes, yours truly has a specific inclination towards playing-field heroes who are flawed underdogs and common men. Tom Watson, Andy Roddick, David Duval, Gus Frerotte, Todd Jones, Bill Mueller, Fred Couples (note: uncommonly buttery swing). The point here is that Tim Tebow is perhaps the least flawed athlete of our lifetime. No rap sheet, no accidental gaffe’s with the media, no drunkathlete.com pictures. The kid is an admitted virgin who speaks at prisons in his spare time while he isn’t doing missionary service in the Philippines. It begs the question, especially in light of our most detestable sports figures: How one can possibly dislike Tim Tebow?
Tebow is a role model for many, but there are also a great deal of fans across the country who are sick and tired of this kid. I think the media deserves partial blame. Ok seriously guys, we get that you are senior writers for the Worldwide Leader in Sports (and I’m talking to you here Forde, how you got that title is a mystery and a travesty that will never be understood. Write another Stewart Cink puff piece. The British Open was about you, Forde. All sporting events are about you) but at a certain point how much praise is too much praise? We understand that he is a great person, but there is no need to rub it in our faces while constantly reminding us of how many other athletes are assholes and jerks. At a certain point the overflow of love and adoration and praise (see cockboy federer and Dick Vitale nonstop bowl cleaning of psycho T Hansbrough) turn otherwise fans against the “too good to be true” athlete.
In a borderline historic role as Barney Gorman, or the “Garbage Pickin Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon,” Tony Danza reminded us all that even a salt-of-the-earth garbage man from Philadelphia could dream big and eventually make it as a kicker on the Philadelphia Eagles (Note: he strengthened his leg muscles to a ridiculous point by kicking his garbage truck engine). Athletes like Tim Tebow who are so overwhelmingly charismatic, talented, devoted and pious can turn off fans. There are no noticeable flaws, no reflection of most people in a kid who never takes a break from spreading the word of Christ to the the Far East, preaching to inmates, leading his teammates, and becoming a better and better football player on the side. While the world may need more people like Tim Tebow, the public doesn’t necessarily have to hear about it in a way that says “you aren’t doing enough.”
Barney Gorman was just a garbage man with a limited earning capacity and a lack of almost any noticeable skills. While he may not have been an iconic figure or the next Pope, you find me a man who doesn’t connect with Gorman on some level, and I'll show you a liar.
I’m not saying that I, or anyone else, is rooting for Tebow to make a mistake or to show up on the police blotter. But for Tebow, as well as the media, I think that a little bit of perspective, a little less about the preaching the church service and more about Tim Tebow as a college student who must curse, tell jokes, talk dirty to females, fart, and grab an ass here or there (male or female) would do him some good. Maybe we should love him more for being so perfect, but I am a sucker for an ass-grabber. The fact is, and I'm sure many of our readers have picked up on this, the Sports Bros are much more aroused by college athletes like Matty Leinart, Marcus Vick, JJ Redick, and Nick Lachey. We want heros who hold the occasional funnel for the 18-year-old ASU girl, we want role models who go to the occasional practice still drunk from the night before while wreaking of unprotected sex. Less time in the leper colony and more time spent being an actual 21 year old could behoove you, Tebow. Just something to consider.
P.S. Tebow's girlfriend is stupidly hot. RELAX, Tebow.
