Wake Up, Wake Up on a Saturday Night…

LOOP - Tim Wakefield is an all-star. He’s 42 years young, this is his 17^th season in the big leagues, he has more Fenway Park starts than any man in history, and finally he’s made it to the midsummer classic. I’m officially letting my first-born son only throw a baseball with his knuckles. He’ll thank me. Next to Brody Jenner, Tim might have the best life of any person on earth. He’s 42 and still capable of making the all-star team, his contract renews every year automatically with new incentives depending on how he pitches, and his job puts almost literally no strain on his body or his life. Typing this article is probably tougher than what he does. This man is just everything the Red Sox are about. He’s been with the club for 15 of those 17 seasons, he rides the T (subway) to and from work every day, and he just does not look like an MLB player (Pedroia, Bill Mueller, Varitek, Youk, Drew, Kevin Millar, Mark Bellhorn are some others who fit that mold). You put together most of the guys from the last decade of Sox squads, and what you have looks more like a construction team working on a public middle school than the Boston Red Sox. I just don’t understand what’s not to like about this guy. Someone like Burey would probably try and invalidate his success with some sketchy math and awkward MVP baseball references, but would undoubtedly come up short. There are no foul notes in the ballad of Wake.

Wakefield is also one of those guys in sports who will just seamlessly make the transition from player to coach (Avery Johnson definitely suited up the night before his first coaching appearance). Other players in this group: Bruce Bowen (Bruce BROwen), Brian Scalabrine, Shaun O’Hara (Shaun BRO'Hara), and Jamie Moyer. The fact is as long as Timmy has a right arm and can stand on his own two feet he’ll have a spot in that rotation, and when he’s 83 and can no longer pitch effectively, he’ll be in the dugout, and no one will have noticed the change in job description.

He’s also one of the MLB’s most charitable players, he has a pretty good-looking older woman for a wife, and he plays the guitar. In other words, he wins the award for most sketchily fresh player in baseball.

By the way, for any of the slower readers, the title of the article is from a Hillary Duff song, hence the first link. Step it up.