All-Stars and All-Scrubs (National League)

BUREY - Yesterday's installment was an analysis of the AL squad. Today, we examine the NL's finest, although they have no chance of winning and are 0-11-1 in the past 12 contests. Even if the NL actually did have a better team, I still think the universe will find a way to put this one in the AL's hands (i.e. Dan Uggla last year). Respect to Pujols, but everybody knows the NL is more or less AAAA ball.

C - Yadier Molina, Cards - Picking a starting catcher for the NL team is like trying to find something you like about reputed d-bag Spencer Pratt. Rookie Pablo Sandoval is the obvious statistical choice to start, with Brian McCann getting honorable mention, but I guess Yadier gets it for his defense. He must play some really good D though if he's starting this game; of all catchers in majors, Yadier is statistically not even top 10. In fact, I'd say big bro Bengie is actually having a better year.

1B - Albert Pujols, Cards - I read an article in SI yesterday about Pujols that was co-written by well-known sabermatrician and stat junkie Bill James. The point of the article was basically that no one in the history of baseball had ever gotten off to a better start to his career than Pujols. That is no one, ever, has ever started, or even had, nine straight years as good as Pujols. That's in the history of baseball. James was throwing around names like Ruth, Cobb, Gherig, Aaron...none of those guys were able to come in and be such immediate successes as Pujols is. James made a point to say that if Albert repeated his worst season 11 times (.327, 32, 103) he would be a sure-fire Hall of Famer (yes, that actually is his worst season). He has never hit fewer than 32 home runs, ever driven in less than 103, or ever hit lower than .314. This season, he is leading the NL in HR, RBI, OBP, OPS, total bases, slugging percentage, and is 1o points behind the leader in average. He's also swiped 10 bags. Maybe he really is a robot/machine.

2B - Chase Utley, Phillies - the best offensive second basemen in the league. He makes his counterpart Pedroia look like a cockboy (oh wait, he definitely is...), but he's got some pretty greasy flow during games. That said, I won't let it affect my review of him. Deserving starter, and I love these quirky out-takes of his EAS commercial. Not even Matt Hassleback can ruin this for me.

3B - David Wright, Mets - playing at Citi Field is really getting to David Wright. It seems like no one can go yard there, so what does he do when the going gets tough? Transforms his game into a scrappy average hitter. At one point D-Wright was leading the league in average but now he's dropped down to .325, hard to blame in for playing on a team where due to injuries Fernando Tatis is playing first and is his protection in the lineup. He's even playing the part by stealing 20 bases. While Mark Reynolds would be a deserving replacement (what a fantasy pickup by me), it's hard to hate on Wright for sticking it out while the rest of the Mets flail around him and the stadium architects try to ruin his career. Always room for one more in the Bronx Dave... Click here for obligatory picture of Wright with his hot girlfriend.

SS - Hanley Ramirez, Marlins - amidst rumors that Hanley might not play to give his hip some time off (the Fish are only two games back in the East and Ramirez is selflessly trying to keep himself healthy), HanRam deserves a lock on this spot. Though I can't justify taking Hanley number one in fantasy over Albert (still killing myself about that one), he is most definitely the best option in the league (with Reyes out). Hitting third has resulted in a slight decrease in SB (12) but he's hitting for a little more power of late. He'll have a 30-30 season, drive in 100 and bat around .340. Pretty legit stuff. And he looks like a baller too.

OF - Ryan Braun, Brewers, Carlos Beltran, Mets, Raul Ibanez, Phillies - Two things you didn't know about Ryan Braun: 1) He's Jewish and 2) His mom is also a brewer; she works as one for Anheuser-Busch. Combine those two nuggets with the fact that he's on pace for .320, 30+ and 100+ and he's a shoe-in starter. Beltran was well on his way to having a monster year but he was slowed by a DL stint, but Puerto Rican born + playing for the Mets = automatic starting job in the All-Star game. Raul Ibanez is a nice story. No one foresaw the huge numbers he is putting up for the Phillies this year (.312, 22, 59), and keep in mind he has been on the DL and will return shortly before the game. Overall it's impressive, especially when you factor in that he's 37 years old and hasn't ever had this kind of production. No, you're not the first one to call for a drug test, but Ibanez has earned a lot of respect in my eyes by stating that if he ever failed one he'd give back every penny he's ever made from the game of baseball, which begs the question: to who?

SP - Tim Lincecum, Giants - very, very close second is Dan Haren, but the nod goes to the little guy from San Francisco. By the way, I'd like to mention at this point that I have both Dan Haren and Chad Billingsley (third choice to start) on my fantasy team (I'm the next Funston). Anyway, little Tim is leading a surprising Giants staff (and team), striking out more than 20 batters more than innings pitched, hovering around 2 in ERA, and taking a page out of the Big Unit's mid-nineties style guide for flow. In fact, is it too early to deem this unlikely duo the new bash brothers? This MLB 2K9 commercial certainly provides support...

RP - Ryan Franklin, Cards - while K-Rod will probably trot out in the extremely unlikely case that the NL has a late game lead, the hometown closer deserves to get the call. He's got a sub-1 ERA and WHIP (.83) and has only failed to convert one time on the year. Again, it's not really practical discussing who the NL's closer should be, but if I were Charlie Manuel I would bring in Franklin to try and nail it down. Besides, K-Rod can't even get Mariano Rivera out...

That's it and be sure to tune in to this year's Midsummer Classic from St. Louis. Go Yankees (err...AL); I'm seeing a 6-3 win.