The 2009 Open Championship is right around the corner now, and the Sports Bros thought that in anticipation of such an event, we would take a look at some of this year's most likely contenders. Obviously we'll begin with David Duval.
Q: David, you are coming off a borderline historic US Open runner-up finish, what do you take away from that and how does it help you going into the British Open?
A: First and foremost it was a great pay day. I pretty much knew I wasn’t going to win but I was really rooting for Mickelson or Barnes to choke it down at the end so I could have sole possession of second place and ensure myself an extra 200k, which is enough for one more year of me ignoring my golf game and focussing on my gut. Didn’t work out so I was a little unhappy, but Phil and I closed a Hooters after the round on his dime which was awesome. Ricky Barnes is a spineless bitch. I’m gonna punch him in the face if I ever see him again.
It was nice to put that chunk of change in the bank. Nike no longer sponsors me in any formal way or financial way, so I have been living off of the scraps of my frequent 80+ rounds. I mostly dine at all you can eat buffets to stretch the dollar and my waist line, a motto my life has been revolved around for the last 7 to 8 years.
As far as the British Open goes I expect to win. Period. World #1's have never lost when its been played at Turnberry, so that makes me pretty confident. I hope the conditions include gale force wins and hard rain. I have a bigger body than most allowing me to keep warm in bitter cold, I also love to cram putts and hammer long irons at pins. If the weather is as brutal as I hope it is I expect to win by a wide margin. My gameplan is to shoot a first round 61 or 62 and then hit fairways and greens the rest of the way.
Q: You were the 882nd ranked player in the world prior to the US Open.
A: What's your point?
Q: Camillo Villegas was voted sexiest man on tour for the second year in a row, a lot of people think you should have at least been in the conversation, what do you say to those who voted against you?
A: I get this question a lot, but I don't have a ton to say about it. Camillo has the body of a belly dancer I used to date in Vegas. I feel like my body is more representative of the common man. My face is a little more symmetrical. I think I have more hair on my ass than he has on his body. His lips are better. He's a house cat and I'm a silverback ape. It's a tossup I guess.
A: First and foremost it was a great pay day. I pretty much knew I wasn’t going to win but I was really rooting for Mickelson or Barnes to choke it down at the end so I could have sole possession of second place and ensure myself an extra 200k, which is enough for one more year of me ignoring my golf game and focussing on my gut. Didn’t work out so I was a little unhappy, but Phil and I closed a Hooters after the round on his dime which was awesome. Ricky Barnes is a spineless bitch. I’m gonna punch him in the face if I ever see him again.
It was nice to put that chunk of change in the bank. Nike no longer sponsors me in any formal way or financial way, so I have been living off of the scraps of my frequent 80+ rounds. I mostly dine at all you can eat buffets to stretch the dollar and my waist line, a motto my life has been revolved around for the last 7 to 8 years.
As far as the British Open goes I expect to win. Period. World #1's have never lost when its been played at Turnberry, so that makes me pretty confident. I hope the conditions include gale force wins and hard rain. I have a bigger body than most allowing me to keep warm in bitter cold, I also love to cram putts and hammer long irons at pins. If the weather is as brutal as I hope it is I expect to win by a wide margin. My gameplan is to shoot a first round 61 or 62 and then hit fairways and greens the rest of the way.
Q: You were the 882nd ranked player in the world prior to the US Open.
A: What's your point?
Q: Camillo Villegas was voted sexiest man on tour for the second year in a row, a lot of people think you should have at least been in the conversation, what do you say to those who voted against you?
A: I get this question a lot, but I don't have a ton to say about it. Camillo has the body of a belly dancer I used to date in Vegas. I feel like my body is more representative of the common man. My face is a little more symmetrical. I think I have more hair on my ass than he has on his body. His lips are better. He's a house cat and I'm a silverback ape. It's a tossup I guess.
Q: A lot has been made of your fall from glory. I mean you onced graced the cover of SI blowing out a flame off a golf club (shown above) in a photo op that certainly rivals almost anything ever done with a 8X10 shot. Go.
A: That was a great shoot (chuckles to himself and massages gut, followed by goatee). I personally don’t think there is much difference between what I can do on a course and what say, a Tiger Woods does. He has gotten some lucky breaks. I’ve missed a couple chances and shot a lot of above 80 scores that aren’t necessarily representative of how I have played. Do you realize that if it hadn’t been for a mistimed 3rd round 83 I probably win the British Open last year? I shot a f****** 59 once.
Q: Uh huh. Talk about how you have been preparing for Turnberry?
A: I don’t prepare physically in the traditional sense. I played a 2 day hooters tour event in Myrtle Beach about 2 weeks ago and won by 18 shots. I didn’t play in Tiger’s tournament. I had to make an appearance at this titty bar I like in Jacksonville. Signed some autographs, took some pictures and pulled down some serious coin. Why does Tiger Woods have his own tournament?
A: That was a great shoot (chuckles to himself and massages gut, followed by goatee). I personally don’t think there is much difference between what I can do on a course and what say, a Tiger Woods does. He has gotten some lucky breaks. I’ve missed a couple chances and shot a lot of above 80 scores that aren’t necessarily representative of how I have played. Do you realize that if it hadn’t been for a mistimed 3rd round 83 I probably win the British Open last year? I shot a f****** 59 once.
Q: Uh huh. Talk about how you have been preparing for Turnberry?
A: I don’t prepare physically in the traditional sense. I played a 2 day hooters tour event in Myrtle Beach about 2 weeks ago and won by 18 shots. I didn’t play in Tiger’s tournament. I had to make an appearance at this titty bar I like in Jacksonville. Signed some autographs, took some pictures and pulled down some serious coin. Why does Tiger Woods have his own tournament?
Q. I don't know. David, in 2001 Tiger Woods woke up in the morning and thought about how he was going to deal with David Duval. What's changed since then?
A. Now he's married, so he probably wakes up hoping I didn't give his wife the tongs the night before in his guest house.
Q: What Inspires you?
A: My mirror.
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