Observations from a Mets Game

PINNO - Went to a Mets game last night. They were facing one of the best teams in baseball, the Los Angeles Dodgers. Usually this might be a good ball game, but considering the Mets' lineup is worse than my diarrhea after eating two bean burritos, the game wasn't too competitive. Final score: 11-2. Regardless, still a great time at Citi Field, here are some random observations:

-It's hard to get excited about your team when Nick Evans is your starting left fielder and Livan Hernandez your starting pitcher (Livan has allowed 15 earned runs in two July starts).

-Randy Wolf is definitely a legal midget, there is no way he is taller than 4'11 and I will stand by that fact.

-Fernando Tatis hits a pop fly to 2nd Basemen Orlando Hudson. I'm pretty sure in the new Yankee Stadium it would have been a home run.

-Wow, Fernando Tatis is our starting 1st Basemen and is hitting 5th.

-Omir Santos's beard rivals that of Vince's in the premeiere of Entourage season 5.

-Instead of handing out a free Mets t-shirt at the game, they handed out "G-Force" trading cards. "G-Force" is the new Disney movie coming out soon about guinea pigs who are secretly government spies. Needless to say, I'm going the night it comes out.

-Reyes is at bat! Reyes is a bat! He's not injured anymore! Oh wait, that's Argenis Reyes, the tweener Triple-A/Major League infielder. He looks like a hispanic/uglier version of Mark Whalberg. p.s. never a good sign for the real Reyes (Jose) when in a response to why Reyes isn't playing, the owner sarcastically states: "his leg hurts."

-Luis Castillio came out to the song "Make Me Better" by Fabolous. My respect for Luis has changed as much as Clay Aiken's sexual orientation (never). But still, good song.

-The "Kiss Cam" might be the greatest thing they have to offer at Citi Field. During the middle of the 5th, they show random couples on the Globotron, and they have to kiss while the whole crowd watches. I have seen my share of funny Kiss Cam moments: two girls making out, two 80 year olds making out, but never have a seen a make out of this intensity. They showed a couple, and they just attacked each other's mouths with ferocity.

-Keith Hernandez is the greatest. When his 'Just for Men' add comes up on the Globotron and it shows his great black moustache, I just get all giddy inside. Similar to the way Ruben Studdard feels when someone tells him that they loved the album: "I'm Sorry for 2004".

-Orlando Hudson gets hit by a pitch around the pelvic region. A drunk fan blurts out "IT MUST HAVE HIT THE TIP". I chuckled.

-Joe Torre comes out to console Hudson. Great to see him. Miss him, even though I'm a Mets fan. He seems very happy with his decision to go to L.A.

-Ball Boy's favor girls/kids. If you're above the age of 16 and you are male, you will never get a ball tossed to you by a ball boy.

-When I was going to my seat, a girl held open the door for me. I was pleased that she had and said thank you, she was pleased that I had thanked so she smiled and said you're welcome. Everybody wins.

-During the game, the Mets dugout is a somber as Mark Cuban is after a full day goes by and he realizes: "I didn't piss anyone off today. Damn it."

-Jeremy Reed is as qualified to be in the MLB as Turtle from "Entourage" is to be a C.P.A.

-For those of you keeping tally: that is now two references from American Idol Season 2, as well as two Entourage references. Last season of Entourage premieres Sunday and I am quite excited.

-Manny doesn't give a shit about anyone and I love it. He wears #99 to chafe everyone, and I'm convinced his junk swings way below the knees. He's so good: 2-2 with 2 rbi's and two walks. So valuable.

-The only player on the Mets that would start in the Dodgers lineup is David Wright.

-The Mets have a lot of work to do.