The first round at the 2009 Open Championship, so we thought we'd call in senior analyst and PGA Tour Pro Fred Couples for some insight. Fred is not competing in this year's Open and will be able to add a lot to our coverage from the outside looking in.
A: Yeah I mean in the interest of full disclosure I have to admit I prepared for this tournament pretty hard and showed up on Tuesday only to be told by Turnberry officials that I didn’t “qualify.” I guess not mis-hitting a golf ball for nearly 800 days doesn’t get you what it used to. I didn't realize hitting consistently perfect irons and being the nicest man since Mr. Rogers doesn't get you any exemptions. My mistake I guess.
Q: Fred you are a mans man through and through.
A: (Nods)
Q: I mean you are a first class guy. No one does it better Fred and I mean no one. Seriously.
A: (Grins and tips his visor)
Q: I gotta ask, what does it feel like to know you are one of the great ball strikers in the history of the human body but to only have one major championship to show for it?
A: In short, not good. I’ll tell you this though I left it all out there every single time. While I may not be known as a champion, not a human being on this earth dislikes me. I am good looking. Golf Digest has given me the Steve Elkington memorial “greatest thighs award” two years in a row. I have a shit load of money. I get to wear a visor to work…you get my drift I think.
Q: Not a lot of visors at this years Open Championship.
A: I heard some rumors that it was a demonstration of respect for someone absent from the field who's probably the best ball striker to ever play, but those are just rumors.
Q: Nothing but class, Fred, first f'ing class.
A: Uh huh.
Q: Lets talk about this wacky leaderboard at Turnberry. Go
A: We got a guy who wears a thong on the golf course in Jimenez at 64 and a 59 year old has-been at 65. Tom Watson couldn’t beat me in mini-golf. Jimenez is a soul-less she-devil, but hey the guy grinds and contends. I played nine with him once, he doesn’t speak a lick of English. Not a lick. After the round he asked me if I wanted to shave his back. I did it. That’s how I am, that's what I do. I would take a bullet for a complete stranger.
Q: Nothing but class, Fred, first f'ing class.
A: Uh huh.
Q: Lets talk about this wacky leaderboard at Turnberry. Go
A: We got a guy who wears a thong on the golf course in Jimenez at 64 and a 59 year old has-been at 65. Tom Watson couldn’t beat me in mini-golf. Jimenez is a soul-less she-devil, but hey the guy grinds and contends. I played nine with him once, he doesn’t speak a lick of English. Not a lick. After the round he asked me if I wanted to shave his back. I did it. That’s how I am, that's what I do. I would take a bullet for a complete stranger.
Q: What do you think about Ben Curtis's chances? I mean, the guy has proven he can do it in Open Championship golf.
A: Who?
Q: Talk to us a little bit about John Daly
A: No.
A: Your golf game is really flawed around the green, isn't it?
Q: No doubt about it. At the end of the day I liken myself to a greek god. My fatal flaw is my flat stick and my incredible propensity to choke it down in huge moments. These flaws are that of the common man. Fred Couples is the common man. Put two and two together.
Q: If you could make putts, and were not a perennial choke artist what would be different today?
A: A lot. The problem is being able to strike the ball the way I can from the fairway, practicing putting is just boring. Seriously the sensation I feel every time I pure a golf shot with a wedgey or long iron rivals the kind of buzz most people get on their first hit of meth. I wouldn’t trade my style of play for anything. But to answer your question a little more directly, if I could putt as well as well as I hit the white ball tee to green, I'd win every tournament by five strokes or more.
Q: No doubt about it. At the end of the day I liken myself to a greek god. My fatal flaw is my flat stick and my incredible propensity to choke it down in huge moments. These flaws are that of the common man. Fred Couples is the common man. Put two and two together.
Q: If you could make putts, and were not a perennial choke artist what would be different today?
A: A lot. The problem is being able to strike the ball the way I can from the fairway, practicing putting is just boring. Seriously the sensation I feel every time I pure a golf shot with a wedgey or long iron rivals the kind of buzz most people get on their first hit of meth. I wouldn’t trade my style of play for anything. But to answer your question a little more directly, if I could putt as well as well as I hit the white ball tee to green, I'd win every tournament by five strokes or more.
Q: (Laughs)
A: What's funny?
A: Some have called you the perfect man.
Q: More than some.
A: Some have called you the perfect man.
Q: More than some.
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