BUREY - Apologies for the hiatus. This weekend I took a somewhat undeserved couple of days off to be glamorous in the Hamptons, while I missed a weekend in sports that only served to pain me as the Yanks continued to be dominated by the Halos, losing three straight as the Sox fattened their AL East lead up to 3 against Kansas City. The story of the weekend against the formerly known as California moved to Anaheim and named to represent the people of greater Los Angeles County Angels just brutalized Yankee pitching, roughing up Andy, Joba, and even fat CC. That's not to mention the damage they did to the bullpen, but what do you expect when we have to roll the dice and trot Brett Tomko out there to keep us in the game? Alas, lady luck is a fickle mistress...
So basically I took a few days off to distance myself from the hapless Yanks (who managed to fuck up not one, but two bases loaded, no-outs late-inning situations on Sunday) and what I thought was all that is pure, wholesome, and truly American: Little League baseball.
On Friday night a friend and I battled rush hour traffic to get to New Canaan and watch the Greenwich 12 year old All-Star team take on New Canaan in the finals of the District 1 Championship. With my little brother suiting up for the Greenwich side my allegiances clearly lay with the visitors, but I wasn't terribly caught up in the nerves and emotion of the gut-wrenching game. The stakes were high: a Greenwich loss meant the end of their All-Star season in their last year of Little League.
Anyway, fast forward to the top of the sixth inning. After several controversial calls (one being a out call at home where the New Canaan catcher dropped the ball on a tag and another being a ground rule double by New Canaan that went under the fence, called a home run by the field umpire and later reversed), Greenwich trailed 3-2 and was down to their last two outs. The Greenwich second basemen (after making a run-saving diving play in the bottom of the fifth) lofts a high fly ball that carries towards the fence. The New Canaan CF backs up to the track, reaches over, but can only watch as the game-tier drops on the other side of the orange tarp. The Greenwich bench explodes, parents are cheering wildly on the sidelines, and the entire New Canaan side is silenced. The emotionally charged Greenwich hero jumps in joy around the bases as his teammates await him at the plate. After the late inning heroics tension is still high, the fans are ready for more baseball and everything seems right with the world. And that's when the people at Sax Middle School witnessed one of the most pathetic things ever seen on a baseball diamond in the history of our coveted game.
After the play, the New Canaan head coach instructs his pitcher to throw to second and appeal if the runner touched the base. He throws over to the shortstop and in one of the most surreal moments I've ever witnessed the field umpire raises his hand to signal "out". What happened next can only be described as sheer madness.
Greenwich parents, fans, and players alike erupt in disbelief. The coaches sprint on to the field, the players press up against the fence and raise their hand in disbelief. Both Greenwich and New Canaan Little League baseball commissioners run on to the diamond as well to discuss the controversy. Meanwhile, the New Canaan first base coach pumps his fist in celebration as his kids celebrate their apparent great skill and excellence as a team. I don't believe anybody could think clearly at that point. The umpire who made the call (who looked something like a cross between this guy and Gonzo from the Muppets) tried to defend his call as the Greenwich hero is simply devastated on the bench. While the men on the field discuss the controversy parents scream to pull the Greenwich team off the field to protest the game (and what was truly a series of unthinkably bad calls in favor of New Canaan). One particularly perturbed parent (who I may or may not be related to) yells "LET THE KIDS PLAY!!!!" and storms off to the parking lot, lawn chair in hand, to let his emotions cool and avoid the possibility of getting arrested. Somewhere in the chaos the game continues (there is no way to overturn the call) and the deflated next batter for Greenwich strikes out. People are still yelling and protesting the call as the New Canaan teams somehow feels like they deserve to dog pile on the field. The umpires try to discreetly leave the scene. I somehow find myself in their faces telling them how pathetic they are, and Gonzo tells somebody to call the police. My friend (visiting from Phoenix, AZ) insists that he throw a haymaker and start a brawl, and is quickly told by a doofy looking Asian parent (who looks like a 6' 4" version of this guy) to "respect the umpires". Ok buddy...
I've truly never seen anything like it. It was disgusting, pathetic, and despicable. What was especially revolting was the way the New Canaan coach (and some players, too) reveled in the victory. A few respectable New Canaan parents came over to apologize, however, and the protests continued as the commissioners tried to figure out if there would be a way to appeal the game or do anything so it wouldn't have to end with such a bogus call.
The situation was eerily similar to this Rick Reilly article about a collegiate softball game. Not only was the coach for New Canaan the same kind of scumbag who would feel good about winning a game in that way, but the umpire made the situation even more revolting. After the New Canaan player who got his double turned into a homer then turned back into a double was sent back to the base, he gave a high five to him... The coincidences seemed to strong not to at least hint at some kind of fixing, but it couldn't be, I mean it's Little League right?
In that situation, it is entirely inexcusable to make a call like that. In such a high-stakes, high-pressure scenario with 12-year old kids, you have to be 300% sure the kid missed the bag to call that. Absolutely dead certain. Every person on the field saw the Greenwich player practically jump on the bag as he rounded the bases, and what's even more suspicious is that after the game, the New Canaan shortstop (who happens to be the son of the d-bag coach) admitted to the heartbroken Greenwich player that he saw him touch the bag. Well, at least it looks like that the apple might have fallen a safe distance from the tree in this case. I have no idea what could have prompted the guy to make this call. At this point there is no way the kid blatantly missed the bag, at the very worst it was unbelievably close, and there is no possibility that the asshole umpire could have made the call nearly 100 feet away (he was standing behind first base). Either way, that's just not what Little League baseball is supposed to be. Maybe it was a life time of underachievement as a human being that made him feel spiteful enough to break a whole team of 12 year olds' hearts. Maybe it was the fact that he's like 60 years old and still a Little League umpire. Maybe it's because he is the retarded child of a Muppet and the guy from Home Alone. It's probably because he was running late to his d-bags anonymous meeting, but we'll never know. The Greenwich kids can take comfort in the fact that by just simply making the 12 year old All Star team they have accomplished more than this umpire has in his entire life, and that they will have plenty more victorious moments in their lives as he probably returns to his shit-hole house every night, jerks off the New Canaan coach, watches some gay porn, and cries himself to sleep.
The only thing I wanted to do after the game is drown my sorrows in alcohol, I was that crushed. I felt bad for the kids, but I felt worse that they were too young to hit the bottle and forget about the game. While the moms brought out some pretty good looking cup cakes to "celebrate" the season, I just had to get out of there. My friend and I rushed home, picked up a 30 of High Life, and jetted off to Southhampton to forget about sports in general for a few days. But alas, 3 nights, a ton of sun, fresh beach, and a good amount of booze later, I'm still thinking about it.
Keep your heads up Greenwich kids.
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